What a day.
So many donations. So much generosity. I just can’t keep up with it. I feel sorta bad, I wish I had time to write personal thank you’s to each of you tonight – because you all deserve it and my heart overflows with gratitude, but I have to TRY to get to bed early tonight and I have a couple things I want to share before I do. Sorry if it’s a little disjointed.
Ephesians 3:17-19 says, “May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”
God’s love is so great, that we will never fully understand. But my prayer is always that I would come to understand it more and more. I want to understand it more because I believe that is the only way my hard and wounded heart will ever be softened and able to love the way it should.
The generosity, support and encouragement I’m experiencing from so many of you – THAT is God’s love flowing through you, to me and to people who are suffering half a world away. It is the most incredible thing to witness. People sometimes say to me “I don’t like asking people for money. I don’t like fundraising.” Those people have no idea what a blessing it is to “speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute” (Proverbs 31:8) and to witness the love of God moving through their friends and family.
So thank you to all who have given today – Jennifer, Mary & Aaron, Kara & Tim, Jacob & Cara, Cindy & Alan, Don & Kathy, Kaelyn and 2 anonymous donors. Thank you for being a light into the world and showing God’s love to so many.
Earlier today, I was feeling pretty scared. Anxious. Like, more fear that I can recall feeling maybe ever. I said to Dan at lunch, “I feel a bit like I’m in the Garden of Gethsamene.” Obviously not to the same extent or level of intensity that Jesus felt – But those fears that beg friends to pray and that begin to ask God for a way out. It wasn’t long after I said that that I started to appreciate the fear. I felt like I was feeling a little of what Jesus felt and in that, experiencing the depth of his love.
Then I realized the vast difference.
If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I think I can safely say I wouldn’t do this run. If I’m honest, as much as I know about my promised life in eternity, death still scares me.
In contrast, when Jesus was in the garden, He KNEW he was going to die. Whether he was feeling fear or not, he faced into it – he walked boldly into death… for us. That is love. A depth of love I will probably never fully understand. But it’s incredible. It is the most amazing LOVE there is.
I listened to Oceans and You Make Me Brave on repeat today. “Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.” Be careful when you sing that…
Around 3 pm, I was still feeling anxious, so I prayed “God, would you comfort me”. Within 10 minutes I received the largest donation I’ve ever received from a woman I’ve met once. I don’t think that was a coincidence. That gift was an answer to prayer.